Ranch Style Chicken

I don't know what makes this ranch style. And according to Pioneer Woman, she doesn't either. Naming stuff is hard.

Regardless, let us keep moving forward and make some yummy chicken. I made this on saturday for the boys, and Matty even joined us for once, which is always a treat.

I'd probably make this chicken again even without going to all the trouble to add the bacon and the cheese. The marinade was really really good.

Oh and the Ranch in the name has nothing to do with Ranch dressing, but like a cattle ranch. If it has anything to do with the dressing, I wouldn't have touched it with a ten foot pole.

It's chicken time!

Take your chicken breasts, and either place them between two sheets of wax paper, or inside a large ziploc bag. If you do use the ziploc bag, make sure you leave a corner of the top open so air can escape.

And then you pound the heck out of them with the flat side of a tenderizing mallet. Or, if you don't have one of those, a frying pan will do! Take that, noisy upstairs neighbors! I CAN MAKE NOISE TOO. (also, you suck, please move away)

Kapow!

You don't want them to be insanely thin, just uniform. I wanted mine to be really thin though because I prefer a thinner chicken cutlet with more flavorful surface area than a really tall piece with more meat in the center and less flavor. GAWD I'M SO NEEDY.

Flaaaat.

For the marinade, you'll need dijon mustard, honey, lemon juice, salt, paprika, and red pepper flakes.

I don't trust that bear.

He's just got that look about him. He's scheming.

Add 1/2 cup honey, 1/2 cup dijon to your bowl.

Swirl it around and take 6 pictures then delete them all but one.

Then squeeze your half a lemon into your bowl. You can do it over a strainer or you can just catch the seeds in your hand like this.

Dear lord the lighting in my kitchen is terrible. I swear I'm not that color. The more I look at that picture the more it hurts my eyes.

Juice extraction complete!

Then add the other ingredients and mix up.

Add it to your chicken and let for a minimum of an hour. Mine sat for half the day. I always prefer a longer marinade time because I love me some flavor, baby.

Now, when it's time to make dinner... Get some bacon strips.

And bacon strips.

And bacon strips.

And BACON STRIPS.

Also do everything in your power to not eat all of that bacon.

Then, if you want to be like me, have some friends over and get totally distracted from taking pictures while you make dinner.

Let your friend take a picture of the monstrous pile of cheese that was grated. We were also having macaroni and cheese, try not to panic.

And then uh.. imagine pictures of me frying the chicken over high heat for a few minutes on either side before putting it on a baking sheet and finishing it in the oven, then adding the bacon and cheese and putting it back in for 5 minutes.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.

I imagine that it would have been amazing between a kaiser roll. I plan to try it someday.

Ranch Style Chicken (original recipe here)

• ½ cups Dijon Mustard
• ½ cups Honey
• ½ whole (juice Of) Lemon
• ½ teaspoons Paprika
• ½ teaspoons Salt
• Crushed Red Pepper (optional To Taste)
• 6 whole Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
• 1 pound Thick Cut Bacon
• Bacon Grease
• Sharp Cheddar Cheese, to taste
• Canola Oil

To begin, make the marinade. In a large bowl mix together ½ cup Dijon or country/grainy mustard with ½ cup honey, juice of ½ lemon, ½ teaspoon paprika, and ½ teaspoon salt and whisk until smooth. Sprinkle in some crushed red pepper flakes or cayenne if you like things a little spicy. Set aside.

Next, rinse the chicken breasts, place between two sheets of waxed paper and pound to around ½ to ¾ inch thick with a mallet. Next, add the chicken to the bowl with the marinade, cover with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for 1 to 3 hours.

While the chicken marinates, fry up some bacon. When finished cooking, reserve ¼ cup of the bacon grease and clean out the skillet.

When the chicken is done marinating, preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Remove the chicken from the fridge and pour off excess marinade. Heat half of the reserved bacon grease with an equal quantity of Canola Oil in the clean skillet over medium-high heat. When the grease is nice and hot add two or three pieces of chicken to it. Cook until brownish/blackish, about 1 to 1 ½ minutes per side. Remove chicken to a large baking sheet. If cooking many pieces of chicken, repeat skillet process and remove finished chicken to baking sheet. Place chicken in preheated oven and cook for about 10 minutes. Remove from oven.

Lay a few pieces of bacon over each chicken breast. Sprinkle shredded sharp cheddar cheese over the top of the chicken as generously as you like. Return pan to oven for an additional five minutes until cheese is melted and bacon is sizzling. Serve immediately.

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Another satisfied customer.

That's Garret on the right and Matt trying to escape the picture on the left.

Make the chicken sometime soon, you won't regret it!